Faceless Person

I have acne. Tons of it. Since 5th grade.
Because I'm so insecure about it, I havn't looked at my face in the mirror in months because I'm scared about what Im going to see. I dont click pictures because I hate to see what Im dreading in actual proof. I hide myself from rearview mirrors, avoid reflective, black screens, and don't look at myslef when Im trying on clothes.
If I had one wish, I would be selfish and beg God to take it all away.
I havn't gone one day in years without someone mentioning it. I've seen my friend's sisters come to recognize me as " the girl with spots". My grandparents just don't leave it alone. I don't even remember what I look like.
I havn't slept in years without putting some kind of facial cream. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I've seen a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I hate what I see.
Back in my old house, my neighbour had a cousin who I was pretty close to who ahd terrible acne. She was almost 27 and it wasn't showing any signs of leaving her. It's stupid and shallow, but one of my biggest fears is that I'll live with acne forever.
I hate myself for letting a thing like this get to me. But I guess it's been too much for just too darn long.